A for Excellent

hhmmm...

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 04:40:03 GMT

SO!! Today was an OK day. Last nite was pretty bad. I hate bad days. I love how I can tell when people are bein odd...But when they FINALLY tell me why...it sucks. It's like a hard blow to the freakin chest. But...whatev.
My birthday's August 2nd. That's 8 days from Today (Tuesday) so uh...everyone should buy me presents. And call me and say "happy birthday!!" and have wild passionate sex with me. K? ok!

MAJOR dumb ass girl-age

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 00:33:55 GMT

I wish people could be sure of themselves without using other people to be sure. GOSH that's annoying. But it's cool.
I'm bout to go to florida in about three days. and I can NOT wait. My mother is getting on my nerves about stuff...and I can't wait to get away from her.
What's happenin on the fourth? I have to work :'( of course...but hopefully I'm gonna be off by 11...so i can maybe do sumthin FUN! yay!
I'm superly bored right now. And I can't go out cuz I can't drive my car cuz the tags are expired. FUCKIN THANKS! But nothin's goin on tonite anyway...aah!!

sex

Fri, 23 Jun 2006 07:10:23 GMT

SO! I don't even know why I'm updating this. It's 3am and I'm online bcuz I am...LAME. that's my only explanation. Nothin's been goin on for real. Hangin out wit the same old ppl....foolin around with some person. Haha. This same thing happened last summer, only i didnt get any action out of that. haha...What else? My boo isn't movin to Nashville without me. I wanted her to go...but at the same time i didn't. So i feel like it's my fault that she doesn't wanna go...but she says it isn't. I just hope she won't regret it. And what else...I'm apparently exclusively dating the perfect guy...it's crazy MAN!...but i need to see some other ppl. The Dukes of Hagert are great but...there's like 50 billion more people in the world lol. Went to Chicago with my boo it was the greatest time ever. and on the 6th I'm off to Florida with Kayla!! YESS!!

Some ppl should call me...ok?

she's got me zonin

Sun, 21 May 2006 22:09:23 GMT

...aaah school is out!! forever!! That's insane. Graduation is thursday, and I can NOT wait.aaaah!!!! SO Friday, we celebrated. haha. At Courtney's farm. When we FINALLY made it! We got lost for like 4 hours! and it was SOOOOOOOO scary! Me, Soph, and Beamon were SCAAAAARED shitless...but then we finally made it, and it was all good. ALL good. We got a lil wasted. Everybody there was already pretty freakin drunk. And there was some sort of dance party going on lol. And Courtney made up the FUNNIEST song I've ever heard, like right on the spot. It was about titties. That girl is somethin.

So...have you ever like...met someone or hooked up with someone and couldn't stop thinkin about it?! Well that's me today...I keep thinkin about this incident. This kid...was the best kisser...ever...on earth. haha. but whatev...

And I'm in love with this song "Me and You" by Cassie. It reminds me a little of my life haha.

AAHH!!! This kid has me ZONIN!!!

PMS

Thu, 18 May 2006 02:38:08 GMT

I hate PMS...haha. But bcuz of it, I've been thinking...Boys suck. Like seriously. For me at least...some people have boos ya know...it sucks. Haha. It seems when boys see me they say "Hey, I'd fuck her." Hhmmm...really? That's just REALLY annoying. Let me use 3 examples here...example #1...he says "ashley, i love you" and I say "wow really.." and then we fuck...and THEN he says "sike, I love you...I just..don't wanna be with you." hhmmm...aaaalright. example #2...dated...then not dating but still "loving" and HE says "I miss you..." and gets me vulnerable...and BAM he has a new girl (who he's totally denying). And finally example #3...HE says "wow, I really like you, we're like soulmates..." And then he tries to get in my pants BUT I'm smarter this time...and Poof! Where'd he go? I dunno....
So...I guess I have made my point there. It's jus getting really frustrating. I've started to hate when a guy says "you're sexy" what about gorgeous? or just even pretty?...UGH!! Maybe I'm just over analyzing...but probably not. It's not only that, guys are so FICKLE!! They say one thing, and then they do a different thing...or they change their mind so quick. I hate it...where are you Mr. Greatness?!! come find me before I go insane!! haha.
Whatever...poop

On a better note...I'm out of high school forever on friday! YESS!! And cruckfest at Courtney's is goin down! lovin it.

yeeea booooy

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 02:51:07 GMT

so...Flavor of Love is definitely the funniest show...(well not the funniest but pretty funny). I think life should be like that. lol not really.

There's this dude...that i like..his personality is awesome...but I dunno if I can trust him...I might go to his prom with him...but I dunno if I want to date him...He's a little too...shy for me. Like we never hang out, but we talk on the fone alot. He came to see me sing at church...I thought that was really sweet.but STILL...I'm like "What's REALLY good."

Senior dinner-dance March 18! Every senior should go!!! It's gonna be tight hopefully. If it's not...I'm gonna be PISSED!! I'm definitely gonna get a dress and fuckin...take it back. lol. Me and Soph went lookin for dresses today...OMG I got so depressed for like 5 minutes cuz i was too small to fit in dresses in the junior department at MAcy's. lol. It was shitty. SO I didn't find anything. I wish I was just a little bit taller (I wish I was a baller...lol) cuz tall girls are pretty hott...and they look better in dresses. lol. UGH!! But hopefully I'll find sumthin soooooooon.

But uh...anyhow...can't wait til school is out. 5-25-06...graduation day...bitches

I'm so jetty tho

what a feelin...

Wed, 25 Jan 2006 02:51:19 GMT

...SO...life. hahaaaa People are weird...and they should definitely not be. I don't understand why he says he's in love with me...but doesn't want to be with me....But he wants to pretend we're together...That's sumthin I can't understand...it hurts...it's like a blow to the chest...but whatever....fuck it...

I'm a senior...and I have senioritis...and it's awesome...hahaaaa....shit

what a life...

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 05:04:35 GMT

Sooo..lately..things have just been going INTO the shitter...Just when I think they're getting better they just get WORSE...it's really starting to get obnoxious. Let's start at the top....friends. I have been losing friends at a constant and continuous rate. lol. (like some calculus here). Maybe it's me? maybe it's not. I would like to think that I haven't changed from being the same person...just a little more mature...maybe not. I dunno. It seems like...there's a group of ppl that when they get together just...aren't themselves. And it sucks. I never know who I'm talkin to...but whatever. Hopefully my rock stays where she is so I won't fall on my ass.
Next...boys. He said he loved me...and then he took it back. HA! what the hell? sumthing I wasn't expecting...sumthing that wasn't pressured out or back in...But it happened that way...but for some reason it hurts more than ever. I didn't even know I had the feelings that I did until it was all over. Over...But...he still acts like it's ok. Like he flirts...and wants to ACT like we're together...without actually being together. I wish he would spare me the heartbreak....I've had too much...
I need a new job too...5.50 an hour is NOT cuttin it..I gotta make some money for SPRINGBREAK (which IS gonna be the shit btw). And to buy my mama a coach fuckin bag for her b-day....ugh...what an expensive pooper. and of course everyone's birthday is in february...F you aquarians!!!lol jk.
Man...oh man...help.

is your heart still spinnin from the night before
you were real good, yeah.
but you really need to let me know are you here just for
sexual dealings?
cuz if you are then I just can't live a lie
cuz I'm certain how I feel about you.
but if you tell me I am the one and this is right
we can spend the nite tonite like always
but first you gotta tell me that you feel the same way I do.

I can see the truth lies in your eyes
could i be that you tried but I couldn't see the signs that passed em by
when you were makin love to me you said it 3 times
you said you loved me, you held me
but then you never even said goodnite
anything I ask of you, you give it
what you want from me, I submit it
still no commitment but if I don't get it then
I just can't live a lie
tell me, tell me, this could be a good thing but you gotta
feel the same way i do...

I've been meaning to tell you sumthing
if I can't have you then i don't want nothing

on and on it seems to go, but you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone...

Tue, 03 Jan 2006 00:46:49 GMT

So...Happy New Year!! It is officially 2006. My year, bitches!! My last semester of high school has come...finally. The moment I have been waiting for, for about...6 years? yes.
The new year started out pretty awesomely for me...and then again it started out terribly...but we won't get into that. I can't wait to see what 2006 has in store for me...it's bout to be LIVE!! yes.
Sophie and I have decided that for the whole month of January, we cannot smoke or drink...think I can handle it? I do. I wanna actually stop smokin anyway...it's fun sometimes...but...not all the time. I dont wanna end up like some nameless potheads that I know. haha. And I'm bout to be in college, I don't think it's a habit I wanna take with me. But I might...who knows?!!
I'm so mad that we have to go back to school soon. I'm not ready!!! But...the sooner we go back, the sooner we get it over with! '06 bitches!!!

Funny Thing:
SO since at 6am Sophie's brother wouldnt answer his door, we had to sleep next door at Megan's. SO...we're layin in bed...and suddenly Megan comes in like "Sophie, there are some weird noises coming from ur brther's apartment!!" So we got up...ran into her mom's bedroom to listen. And we hear...this banging up against the wall...Sounding like the banging of a headboard? lmao. It was going really fast too...We were sitting there like "WHAAAAT?! someone is GETTIN it!!" and Sophie was grossed out bcuz her brother was DEFINITELY fuckin the SHIT out of someone right next door. yay

a moment of realization...

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 20:49:30 GMT

So...about a month ago at church (yes), this guy was doing a talk about "cleaning your canvas" and grace and all that good stuff... Well... It was during a time when some stuff with Corbin was goin on...and I was like...not knowing what to do...And with that plus a talk with Mrs Jefferies, I realized "hey, there's some stuff in life that I just don't need....maybe I should focus my attention on ME instead of all the bullshit." So...that's what I've been tryin to do for a month. In the beginning I was doing great!! And I was so proud of myself...i think I peaked too soon, bcuz slowly I started to come back to what I had been doing. not completely but somewhat. SO...some stuff happened and for the first time, I felt ashamed and it was kinda like a smack in the face. So...since then I've just been realizing how things REALLY are. How things seem and how they really are, are two totally different things.
So that brings me to this weekend...For SO long, I've been struggling with the fact that I have four seperate groups of friends. Now, for some reasons it's bcuz some ppl don't go to my school. Or another group, majority of them are not in my grade. But for the most part...the groups are separated bcuz of dislike. OK...so that's not my fault. But when I get put in the middle of EVERY SINGLE argument, or problem...it becomes an annoyance. Now, in most cases, the ones who don't like each other are usually fake to each other in person, or just do not cross paths....And I try to make sure that they don't cross paths bcuz that would have me choosing sides, which is something I do not like to do. SO! I try to make reasonable choices with the assurance that my friends love me enough to say "ok well I understand that's a choice u had to make." But...they don't. Of course they don't. One thing that u will never see me involved in, is drama. I'm a senior in high school and I think I'm a BIT old for that...so I try my best to avoid it. But when people around me are involved...it kinda gets me involved. SO...I try to like...control it. Os that's what I did this weekend. One friend said "Hey Ash, I want you to be a part of sumthing but I don't want you to tell your friend bcuz you know and she knows that I don't like her...and I don't want her to participate." So I said "...OK?" Now...I understood why I shouldnt tell my other friend and I didnt wanna betray the trust of this friend by telling her secret. So I didnt say anything. So...the same friend told friend B who is friends with friend A (the friend who is disliked). SO friend B was like.."oh yea she told me about it...I might participate." So I'm like..well hey I guess it's cool then but friend A sure is gonna be pissed when she finds out... SO I said...ok...I invited another friend (since we always hang out and she has to drive since I dont have my license :-/) and we went to this little gathering of sorts. Stayed for like...and hour...and then we had to leave. So...friend A calls me all PISSED off bcuz friend B told her that I...alone...was keeping this thing a secret...hhmmm....NOW...#1 it was NOT my place to tell her about the party bcuz hey...it wasnt my party. #2...I didnt tell her cuz I thought "wow that's kinda mean to be the only one not to get invited to someone's party....that might hurt her feelings" And #3 friend A is known for starting drama...I think I know her pretty darn well... so I'm pretty sure I know what would have possibly happened. but who knows...I could be wrong.
Ok so...I don't understand what I did wrong here. I'm sure I would have done the same for her if that were the case. but fuck it. I apologized...but what happened happened...and basically there's nothing i can do about it. I did feel bad about it...until I got ganged up on...hhmmm....

SO in light of this situation, I have come to the conclusion...May 25. 2006. Is my liberation day. Half the people I am "friends" with now, I would care not to be friends with in the future and I probably won't see them ever again anyway. So...oh well...Another thing...I have lost things more valuable. I lost the most valuable thing I think I could ever lose (next to my mother and father) on October 18. 2005 to be exact and it shocks me that anyone would think that they are that important to me. In short, I have enough problems to deal with so I'll let this be the least of them...

And I think you know that I'm talking about you. So...think about how STUPID this is...and get over it.

rumble in the jungle

Sun, 04 Dec 2005 00:08:50 GMT

So last nite...was terrible haha. I got SOO drunk with Taylor and Racheal...and fuckin busted my eye open. lol. I was laughin at sumthin and fuckin hit my head on a chair REALLY hard. I dodnt even know I was bleeding until my favorite Sophie pointed it out. She took care of me for the rest of the nite. She was great. haha I was like attached to her for the whole nite like she was my mommy. lol. I was so whiny lol. And then I embarrased the shit out of Clare Bear and Suga. They're prolly PISSED at me. lol I gotta apologize. What else? Oh i met a random person from SCPA lol. She was nice. Lol..I busted my eye open. aaah!! Oh and then I called Corbin...and we had a LONG talk...he thought it was good. I guess it actually was. I'm glad he understands now. But whatev. Man...Krebs was funny. And Jamaad was...horny or sumthin. The I had to go to work today..and my manager made fun of my eye ALL day!!! I was like WHAT?! it sucked for real....actually it wasn't that bad. But my eye is kinda swollen...and it has a huge cut on it...it suuucks. it looks like i got into a fight...At least it's not black tho.

My mom makes me SO mad. I was so ready to go out to her house today...she called me like thursday like "let's go shopping on saturday and then you can spend the nite" I was like alright bet...and then zi called her when I got off work...something I dont even usually do...and she said she was at my little cousin's birthday...and then she called me like 3 hours later or sumthin like "we'll just do it another time" I was like...fuck that...My (real) mom and my dad are like...the biggest idiots. I respect Kimbra a lot more than them...My mom is cool but...I dunno...she's been fuckin weird lately. My dad is just lazy..and really mean to his wife..and shit it's annoying. But whatever...I can't wait to get away from them I guess. Actually Kimbra's kind of an idiot too. She's too in need of perfection. My dad gives her nothing in their marriage...bt she loves him...ugh...whatever tho...

somebody...come...play tag

epiphany?

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 23:37:12 GMT

SO...after some shit went down, I got to thinkin... what do I really need right now? What should be the center of my focus? and it's not CORBIN...or any other boy who pretends to care but in the end only want one thing. ha. I have sooo much to focus on right now...and all the rest of the shit will fall in place...and I am content. I knooow a boy is NOT what i need right now...it's just too much extra work...and I...alrady have a job. haha

Anyway. My break was kinda tight. I was out every nite which was cool. I stayed out of trouble until I hung out with RACHEAL and TIFFANY. lol! Project RAT got me in trouble....well really it got RACHEAL in trouble lol. We got drunk as fuck on Saturday nite...went to RACHEAL'S house got more drunk...and decided "let's get some boys to come over." (it was NOT my idea...lol) So these three dudes, one of whom was named SNUFFALUFFAGUS (lmao), snuck in...at like 2am...so of course...RACHEAL's mom needs orange juice becuz her blood sugar went way down. So her mom went down to the kitchen. RACHEAL's room is the basement, and it's door leads right up to the kitchen. yeeea. So RACHEAL went upstairs to talk to her mom while these guys were hiding in the bathroom. So then...her mom stayed up in the living room for like EVER...so then they thought she left so they came out of the bathroom and sat on the couch. And a few seconds later, the kitchen light comes on...and one of the guys ran back to the bathroom...and the other two just sit there like some IDIOTS...and her mom comes downstairs...it was hilarious...except the scariest thing ever. So now RACHEAL's in trouble. It's kinda sad tho...cuz RACHEAL's birthday is Tuesday! haha...too bad so sad.

The other days of the break...OH SNAP! Tuesday...the first nite of the break..Me and Milk and Cookie (KREBS and SOPH) Went to ABBEY's for LUCAS' coming home party thing. And We were blazed as FUCK...aaah!! And we sat around this fire cuz it was FREEZING and CHANNY was sitting next to us...i think he was drunk...but he had us SOOO weak!! Like he was the funniest person on earth that nite. Like he was saying the funniest shnit ever. You prolly just had to be there...but it was hilarious.

And the rest of the break was cool too... haha

uuum..

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 02:26:27 GMT

SO...people are REALLY stupid....So the other day I was TRIPPIN abt not havin a bf and SHIT. But really I don't need one. I don't even want one. HAHA. I'm in love with this asshole. And it makes me sad. But it's cool. I work at the mall now...there's so many hott dudes at the mall. Lol. I can't wait. Sike I'm not even boy crazy. Boys are FUCKING IDIOTS!! I haaate 'em. Like seriously...
OOOH...I can not even wait to go to college. Everday I don't want to go to OSU more and more tho. lol. I wanna go to North Carolina cuz it's a tight state. Or Chicago...or New York...buuut Columbus is where I'll be. haha. But I still can't wait to go. Columbus is a tight city i guess....PLus there'll be plenty ogf opportunities to travel....hhmmm...yea.
I kinda can't wait til Thanksgiving break..But actually I can. This Thanksgiving is gonna SUCK!!
Hollister is kinda cool. I just bought some stuff from there tonite...it's cool. I can't wait til the freakin store opens tho. Whenever I'm in there folding clothes I feel all closed off from the world cuz no one can come in...it SUCKS man. haha.
But wutever...School tomorrow!! yay!!
FUCK school.

<3 Ashy!!

sooo...

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 21:06:45 GMT

So...yea I have the worst luck with boys kinda. I always want the ones who don't want me, and the ones who do, I do them dirty. I don't understand it. But this one guy...I'm a lil sketchy abt him. Like I don't have much trust for guys, and then he talks to my best friend like on the fone and she visits him at his job...and blah blah...all this other stuff... and I just don't know wut's wut ya mean? He's reminding me of that kid Anthony all over again. All I really want is honesty. It works out alot better in the end. If he's being honest with me then I'll kinda feel bad, but I love the way he is. But if he's not...then he really needs to be so that no one will be hurt...I like him...I really do. But i like honesty a whole lot more. yeea.
So...I've been thinking abt graduation and going off to college and stuff, and it's making me reeeal uneasy. I love my friends, but after graduation it's gonna be like...the end...and that sucks man.But i guess when the time comes...I'll be prepared. ::sigh:: and if we're real friends...we'll be friends forever...right? man o man.
what else?...man I've been in like a bad mood or sumthin. I dunno why tho. it's been crazy. And I REALLY need to finsh my OSU application so that Mrs. Grayman doesn't KILL me!!

the loves in my life....

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 02:38:21 GMT

MAN!! This weekend was kinda tight.Firday...homecoming game, not so hot. We got our asses kicked 52-0. but that was ok because the cheerleaders and Andre Dubois and Corbin entertained me. Until they pissed me off. Ya know, if someone steals something for you...but like gives it to you as a real gift...even though it was prolly only a dollar or sumthin...wut does that say to you? I dunno i just wanted an opinion. People think I'm ungrateful because I got mad at Corbin for stealing everything he ever gave me. Like...it's not even a big deal, I enjoyed everything, but he stole it and I would rather not had the stuff if it had to be stolen. Ya know. But whatever. I do appreciate it. All of it.

And then Saturday...the homecoming dance. It was fun...Dinner with Beamon, Sophie, Jamaad and our fifth wheel Racheal was funny. And then the dance was cool. Even tho I did not even win queen. I was kinda salty, but then again...I really dont have to question my coolness. Danielle McCarthur is a nice girl...but nowhere near as cool as A. Triib...I'm just sayin.
And then after the dance...went to sophie's for that tight ass, weird ass...embarrassing ass sleepover. Me, Krebs, Soph, Jamaad, and Beamon. YESS!! It was live...It was funny cuz right when we decided it was time to get crunk...Jamaad was like "I can outdrink anybody here!!" And then he took a shot and was DONE for the rest of the nite...He was drunk as fuck off some 151. It was HILARIOUS. And then I spent the majority of the time in only my underwear....yea...crazy i know.

Next day, went to orientation for my new job at Hollister! yay!! And then later that nite..went out with the tremendous trio. We got high as shit and went to Newport. I slept thru the whole move...damn. $7 down the drain.

Then our off day, monday, went to THE Ohio State University. haha. I enjoyed it. I'm definitely bout to go there. It's so live. I will not be able to stay on track tho. I'm gonna need some SERIOUS guidance freshman year. But I can't even wait.

And then back to stank ass Walnut today...I just wanna get accepted to OSU so I can just...stop goin to fuckin WHHS. I hate the place...I'm so ready to drop music theory...i can not stand that class. I enjoy learning stuff...but it's so freakin annoying. Like for real...I've learned all that I want to know...haha let me gooo.

zippity do da

Wed, 05 Oct 2005 03:38:03 GMT

Sooo...Sunday...one of the most important people in my life passed away. My Aunt Kathryn. She was like the closest thing to a grandmother, that I had. Though she was only 55 when she passed, she was so wise. She was so, selfless a d giving. and caring. It amazed me how she would not stress over things, and just take care of people like it was her job. She was truly amazing, and I learned so much from her. I never imagined that she would be taken away from us so soon. I was so looking forward to inviting her to my graduation, and my wedding...and maybe even my baby shower. But I know she'll be there for all that...

I think I'm a little too needy sometimes. It kinda sucks. I'm all ass backwards. I don't even know how to explain.

I'm so sleepy right now.

Peopl are F-ing weird!!!

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 21:55:34 GMT

OK...so time is going so slow right now...its insane. I'm going insane....But anyway. I'm goin to Kayla's show tonite...bcuz I'm a good friend. (unlike the ppl ::cough:: who didnt come to my concerts ever) but that's neither here...nor there. I'm going to see this bitch's show. And I hope it's good. It should be.The last show I saw was...pretty dumb tho. Soooo...who knows.
Soooo....life is insane. I keep thinking, how would I react if Corbin said "hey I'm dating this girl..." haha...Man...this shit is not healthy. But whatever. I like this guy now...well two guys. And it's kinda bad...One of them I know doesn't like me at all lol. And the other one....I'm not so sure... But on the real, I hate boys for real. Like...seriously.
Man...it's crazy how u find out shit that could have made life alot easier like waaaay later. Man this girl i used to be friends with this girl, and then one day she was like "hey bitch, i hate you...we're not friends anymore" I was like "whaaaa? ::tear::" and then we were hardcore ENEMIES. Like whoa. And then I hear like yesterday, that she did it bcuz her mom made her or sumthin. WHAAAA?! That's crazy right? And ppl think I'm best to take home to mom and dad. (Which u should vote for me btw) maaaan. Life...I'm tellin ya.

oooh gosh...

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 22:17:14 GMT

..So I have this HUGE headache that comes out of nowhere. I took some tylenol earlier, and it went away for like an hour...and now it's back...it hurts soooo bad...Th other day I hit my head REALLY hard, so i dunno if it could be from that or wut, but it's pretty darn painful. I prolly should take some more drugs for it tho. man oh man...it makes me uncomfortable as hell too man...I reeeeeallly wanna take a nap right now...but I have MASS homework. Maybe I'll do my homework and then take a nap...yes, i think so...
..So wait...I dunno wut to do abt Corbin. Like sometimes I feel like I know exactly wut I'm doing...but then i get confused. I think he's using me. I can feel it. He says he's not, but if u think abt it....he really is. It kinda sucks, but wutever, I'll just have to get over it. There's nothing I can do.

<3 Ashy!!

...

Sun, 04 Sep 2005 22:23:06 GMT

so today...today was....bad. well for one, people can be so fake. Like why be fake? People should just be honest. pisses me off....
Then another thing, i finally got some honesty...i wanted it...but it sucked. Life is bout to start sucking like immensely. if you've ever built your life around sumthing and then just have it go away, you knoooow wut i mean. That's a bad thing to do, but...sometimes ya just can't help it.

Karma is a fucking bitch.

backwards

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 00:37:41 GMT

So....school is the most frustrating thing I've ever done in my entire life. I wanna quit. People are frustrating too. hhmmm....LIFE! haha
Today was kind of a bad day. I am like the biggest NON-cryer ever. I almost cried like 4 times today. haha. It sucked too. but wuteva.
But then I got my hair done...and it's soft...and it makes me smile. haha. It's pretty tight man. I had hella split ends tho...so i got it cut alot kinda. But it looks 1000 times better. definitely.
Work is ruining my life... I have been waiting to get F'ed up...but it never works bcuz I always hafta work early the next morning. It SUCKS...but I'm definitely smokin a fat ass blunt tomorrow. Yess....

i need some catharsis

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 01:54:09 GMT

...So everytime he says something I go thru some extreme emotion....Like it's insane...I dont know wut's goin on...but it's weird. I wanna let go SO bad...but it just wooon't work. And I can't talk abt it bcuz I'm afraid no one wants to hear it anymore. It's shitty as hell.... My karma is really kicking my ass to pieces. I don't know WHAT to do....ugh. breathe...i guess....

lick it lick it lick it, like a peppermint swirl...

Wed, 24 Aug 2005 03:35:38 GMT

Sooo...yea. All i want is some head. lol But anyway. Today was a good day...ya know...a few extra-curriculum activities. They were cool. But in the process...I managed to confuse myself even more....LIFE!!!!
Man it sucks when u start chillin with ppl JUST before they're bout to move out of town!! It SUCKS!! Veronica was cool for a while, then she moved to North Crazytown...and that was the end of that lol. And now Erin's bout to move to New York...'the hell?! haha. People are crazy. But anyway, the point is, we're also abt to graduate, and I bet some of my best friends are gonna move away far far away. And it's bout to suck. You can never have enough time...
On the other hand, there are people that I wish i didnt have to ever see, but it's fun to see them sometimes just to make them feel stupid. Ya know. yeea...
I need to experience something different. Today, I was thinking..."wow, stuff could be alot better." Like some stuff is just not exciting anymore. I'm bout to hang out with random people..and just act a fool. Or people should just step it up a notch. We're seniors now, let's enjoy this shit...fuck bitches all day everyday.

Funny Thing:
At the girls' varsity soccer game, the guys kept messing up the score bored, so Preston yelled "If I can work a microwave, you can work the score board!!" It was hilarious...

oooh the hate...

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 21:39:28 GMT

SO this guy doesn't like me. For whatever reason...he doesn't. And that's fine. I mean, all 5 feet of me can be pretty intimidating. And I definitely like broke up his relationship. ha! except i didnt. And I couldn't have even if I TRIED. Which i didnt. But it's all good. I've never had someone tell me they don't like me. (except Christina Busick but that's a story for another day) So it's pretty exciting. I feel like sucha threat now. haha. Cuz he wouldn't hate me if I wasn't, right? haha. I kinda feel bad tho, cuz I'd smack a bitch for flirtin with Corbin or sumthin. O well...Fuck it.

...and

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 20:08:35 GMT

SO...I thought "maybe I should write in my livejournal" So that's what I'm doing. While procrastinating. I have homework on the 2nd day of school....I had homework on the first day. I dunno if I'll be able to handle Music Theory. I'm gonna try SO hard...but man...it's SO hard. Like I dont even know why something would be that hard ever in my life. But whateva. Being a senior is tight. Like it doesnt feel any different, but when I think abt it, and when ppl call me a "senior" I feel so old and special lol. It's insane. I'm pretty excited abt seniorness.

So today I was all PISSED bcuz boys lately have been really stupid. And making me sad and shit. It sucks. I saw the guy talkin to this girl who he told me was hot once. He said I was the second hottest girl next to her. THAT SUCKED. But then today he was like....talking...to her and I was like "daaaaaamn" I was quite the salt truck. i dunno why tho. I'm tired of being my same indecisive self. I never know what I want. I like to pretend like I do, but I really don't. And it's SO frustrating. I dont understand life sometimes. ha.

So ultimately, this week hasn't been that good. It hasn't been the worst week ever, but it hasn't been good. I wish there was better people at walnut. I'm sick of all the nerds I go to school with. I don't have any classes with anyone cool for real. I'm so mad. But whatever. I'll just hafta bear with it. Shitty. everyone's leaving for college now too. Which is crazy. I wonder what it will be like for people when I leave for college? hhmmmmm....

I miss Veronica. BO COLLEGE!!!! lol

<3 Ashy!!

Happy Birthday to Ashley, Happy Birthday to you.....

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 05:02:32 GMT

Soooo....this birthday was OK....like people got mad at me today....for shit. And pissed me off....but whatever. I do NOT understand ppl all the time...

I didnt really do anythng...but i did talk to this random dude on clifton ave. lol it was HILARIOUS. Dude was drunk as hell!! Like out of his mind!!! And I was bout to ride his FACE! lol...Veronica was there. AAAHH!!! Veronica.
Racheal likes to have her hair pulled. Apparently. My boobs are firm tonite..lol...so that just gave everyone permission to touch them. I was molested...It's technically aug. 3 but i changed the date so that it says 2 cuz that's my birthday...yay!!...it's my birthday yaaay!!

FUCK